Here Lies Our Holiday ♥

All I want for Xmas is..........................................................

Of course to get souls saved (:

And material wise, that wallet :/

This is for the ones who believe their lives won't change
Hoping that someday things will mend and be the same
This is for the ones who have lost it all when all that's left to gain
Is a simple reminder that the things that were blind to slip away...

How can I say...
Say I'll be okay...

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on

Now that the lines been broken
I'm too afraid to just look back
The pages have left an empty space 
You were all I had
Why does it have to be this way
These things they'll never change
Still I'm left with knowing, content and happy, this is all I need...

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on

And if I fall through these days that go by without cause
Just a painful mistake has left me here on my own
And if I fall through these nights I can't seem to go on
Just a sign that you're with me gives me the strength to hold on...

This song really very nice eyyyyy, its on repeat on my phone now :/ will share my rev soon. I feel it does not only apply to me, but it can be for alot of things. So yeah.

I BELIEVE I WILL BE HEALED. I REALLY DO.

IMY :/

Just came home, almost got locked again! But thank God, neh (: Awesome! Anyway, my back is getting better. Its not as strained as it was, but it still hurts ahhhhhh. But nonetheless, I will be healed in the name of Jesus. Yes I believe I will be healed! Thanks Darrion's mummy! :D

Had drama just now, ohman. I must make time for sunday! After work and I will rush over to expo! For the rehearsal! Can't afford to miss it! D:

Need the hearts to be more open :/ I will be persistent. YES I CAN, THROUGH HIM!

End of next year. I trust you, I really do.

I tried so hard to not walk away
And when things don't go my way
I'll still carry on and on just the same
I've always been strong
But can't make this happen
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breathe you in
The fear of becoming
I'm so tired of running
'Cause I need to breathe, I want to breath you in
I want to breathe you in

Yes you over there! Stop thinking about it already! You have lifted the burden up to God! He will do things the way He wants it to be! So stay cheerful and know that everything is gonna be alright! :D Yes even though its gonna hurt, yes there is gonna be restrictions but shan, you got to learn how to do things in His way and not your way. For His ways are greater than ours! Remember that! You just got to constantly tell your flesh to "STOP IT". I am sure things will be fine, trust God and not lean on your own understanding, remember?! I believe what you both have done is right and if it is meant to work out, it will eventually. So stop thinking about it! Although you still must lift this area up to God, and try not struggling with it! Don't let it affect things between you and God. Always always tell Him anything and everything! He loves you, and so do I.

xoxo; shan.

Okay machiam retarded to write to myself, but I feel its a way whereby I can remind myself. So yeah! :D

If I say forget it, I know that I'll regret it.
But I know if I don't take it, there's no chance.
'Cause you're the best I got

\ I just hope that you will be the one /

I've seen what you're facing, please don't be alarmed
If you need me, just call me. You're never alone
(Hey) I'm barely sleeping, I'm barely eating
Until the rain turns into change

My heart's your heart
My love is your love
But I'm not okay unless you're okay
And my mind is your mind
My soul is your soul
And I'm not okay unless you're okay

This song is the ultimate, really. The lyrics is really very sweet. It makes my heart melt, like serious. Lets see who will sing that for me :D

Anyway yup, have been really really tired recently due to work :/ but well, slowly slowly going back to the normal lifestyle alr (sleeping longer hours). My back will be better tomorrow! I believe! Really got to thank Darrion's mummy for the massage that day. She's really goooooood (:

God is really a good God. He answered my prayers :D Things are going fine now between me and Briana, really thank God for that. And also, not forgetting Darrion :D thanks thanks!

I knew one day we will eventually talk about this. Now you know my answer, whatever the choice that you are gonna make, I will respect it. Even though its gonna be painful or maybe even joyous. But after all, He is the one that plans our path isn't it? If we are really meant to be, we will cross path someday, somehow. Right now I guess you should just focus on your common tests and such :D and not think too much into it! (and i will try not to also) Haha, jia you for your cts okay! :D You can do it! :D

Actually I wanted to make this post private. But I've no idea how to do it so yeah -.- no choice. I just need to vent it out. I don't want to keep things inside me. Yes I already have told God everything. But penning it down will allow me to think of what I've done, what others have done and so make reflective thoughts upon all things.

Recently I've been ill. Like really sick, don't know what really happened to me. And that's when I see people showing care and concern towards me. I really appreciate it alot! But also it got me thinking, will I go the extra mile to meet other people's needs? After what i've seen, I know I will do what it takes to help people out. Even if it means to be doing something ive never done before, just to meet the needs of the people. And yes I will learn how to take care of myself :/ it's hard to always remind myself that I can only eat porridge and soupy stuff, it's really hard. But I will put it up, just till I get well and then I'll go back with my normal diet! Even when I'm typing this, I'm feeling the pain in my stomach -.- oh wells, I will tahan!

Trust, having trust in someone is really important. Once you've betrayed the trust, it's really hard to find it back. I promised her I won't tell, but I had to. Because it's for her own good and as her brother, he should know about it. If my sister gets a bf, I will also want to know. Okay maybe not to invade her privacy but to know how's she is doing and whether is she going down the wrong track. Okay maybe you can say it's being protective, which I feel everyone will be towards their family members. That's why I felt the need to tell him. I'm not trying to cause any quarrels or misjudgements. I'm sorry if I done so. All I want is for him to know and at least he knows what's going on in his sisters' life instead of not knowing anything. I don't know if I'm being a nosey Parker, but I'm just trying to help. Maybe I tried too much that I even caused myself to be tangled in this. I care for the sisters, yes I do. I see them as my own that's why I don't want them to be hurt. Well I guess after this, they might think I went back on my words and hence not speaking up to me anymore. It's okay, I know I will be waiting alongside patiently. I will ways be there for them if they ever need someone to talk to.

Enough, is the word that's in my head now.

There's work tomorrow at expo hall 3. It's with the same group of fun people that I was with 6 months ago! I do hope they remembers me! Well, it's gonna be 4 in the morning. I got to stop thinking about the outcome of it. I'm sure they're matured enough to handle their own stuff. Sounds ironical. Face it, my mind is in a whirl. I lift it up to You. Divine healing to come upon me right now. Take away every single area of pain! Go in the mighty name of Jesus!

keep it to yourself, there's no need to know

I can't help but to agree with that statement. Sometimes you just don't know you are ready for things. Maybe because there's anxiety within you, or maybe because you are afraid and you fear of the outcome. However, I feel that, that is when you need to take the step of faith. Cause you already have what it takes to overcome the present obstacles. Your wings already exist, it already has. All you have to do is fly, it is time. Yes, it can be difficult when you first try. But hey, no one ever said that flying is easy. You think a baby bird can just fly the moment they are born? They fall a lot of times, before getting the hang of the flight. What matter is whether you are willing to pick yourself up after you fall. So don't give up.

Shan, you shouldn't give up! No matter how hard it may be, no matter how tiring it can be. Just persevere. Remember James 1:12! You can do all things thru Christ who strengthens you! He is with you all the time! :D

And I got locked out the second time yesterday night. HAHA joke pls. But then again, my action are my own. I cannot escape the consequences. So yeah I was stuck outside until like 2 plus I think? HAHA, two hours outside. Thanks to those that were concerned of my safety, thank you :D I need breakthrough. Really need to have more freedom.

Yes, I went to the doctor already. And its a torturous thing pleaseeeeeeeeee. No dairy product, only porridge and soupy stuff. Ohman, kiss goodbye to chilli. However it really hurts so badly even until now. Pray for healing! God will heal (:

Anyway, was packing my whole room today. And guess what! I found my disney princesses story book! :D I so happy please please please! Hahah, and it was my birthday present from sheila and valentia! :D How awesome! :D and there's stickers eyyyyy! hehe :D they so pretty! Okay anyways, I'm gonna look for the christmas cake recipe! I want to make a chocolate log cake, and not kuey ): And yay, christmas is coming! :D can't wait to invite friends! And to see souls being saved :D HAHA awesome! :D

You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go

Day 1 - See she is so small and cute please! REALLY CUTE TTM TTM TTM!

And then the days goes by... and she ate, and ate and ate and then she became this..

she became so fatttttttttttttttttttttttttt but still adorable please!

i miss it when she licks ): okay a bit weird and wrong, but really, its really cute ):

and i love her (:

Yeah luh, i am still sad ): its like, i can't see her forever! Even if I get another one, it will definitely not replace her at all. So sudden ): so sudden ):
Her departure actually make me realised that when someone or something is there for you, don't take it for granted :/ treasure what you have before its gone. Really, treasure it.

Going timbre later, should I or should I not? Technically I am still not feeling well. But then again, can get to meet new friends! And fellowship with them and the members. Pros weigh more than cons :D Alright, I shall go later. Just need to get some rest at home before going :/

I miss barnee, i miss barnee.
when you're gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you;

oh wells it's actually 1 plus in the morning and I'm still not sleeping. Wanna know why?! Cause of my stupid stomach! I've no idea why is it hurting so bad! I told Vanessa just now that my ass muscle weak already and I was sharing with her. I'm sure she's grossed out!

I need to be better by tomorrow!!! ): I still have to travel to queenstown to help my dad get his trophy done. Super far pls! At the other end of Singapore! Ohman, I want to sleep! Real badly ):

I AM IN GREAT PAIN ): From yesterday to today and I am still feeling the same, why oh why? ):

I feel like eating glazed donut right now, anyone wants to get it for me from DF? HAHA if i have the strength to go to novena or whatever ah, i sure go and get one pls! I am really craving for it nowwwww! ):<

Gonna stay at home to do the baptism card! Ohman, and I've no idea where to start from :/ three more days to get it done! I hope I can complete it soon enough!

PAIN

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt. 
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.